If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “If I don’t do what she wants, she’ll get sick,” or “Maybe I’m the crazy one,” you’re not alone. Narcissistic parents plant these seeds of self-doubt. Over time, these thoughts loop in your mind, making you anxious and keeping you tied to them.

One way to stop this cycle is to challenge these thoughts. When you hear that inner voice telling you something terrible will happen, pause and ask, “Is that true?” Talk to a friend you trust or a support group. Getting a reality check from someone outside the toxic family system can help you see things more clearly.

Sometimes these thought patterns are linked to depression, which makes negative thinking even stronger. If you find these loops hard to break, consider speaking with a therapist. There’s no shame in asking for help. In my book Narcissistic Mothers I talk about ways to recognize and interrupt these destructive patterns so you can reclaim your mental space.