If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may find yourself wondering: do they know what they’re doing? The truth is more complicated than a simple yes or no.

On the surface, narcissistic parents seem very aware. They keep score, guilt‑trip you and remind you of how much they’ve “sacrificed.” They know exactly which words or looks will trigger you because that reaction is their supply. They might even appear to enjoy your discomfort. This level of control can make it feel like everything...

Does your father act like a hero in public but like a tyrant at home? Narcissistic fathers wear a mask to impress others, then drop it when the audience is gone. Behind closed doors, they may run the house like a boot camp and demand total obedience. Recognizing the warning signs helps you understand that his behavior is about him, not you.

Watch for these patterns:

• Guilt trips: He reminds you how much he sacrificed whenever you say no.
• Conditional love: Affection appears only when he can brag...

Many adult children are addicted to the idea of finally earning their mother’s love. Even though she’s never given you unconditional approval, you keep trying. This need can make you vulnerable to manipulation because you’re always chasing something that isn’t there.

It takes time and deliberate effort to stop seeking her approval. Think of it like breaking any addiction: it’s uncomfortable at first. You might feel the urge to call her just to hear something nice, only to feel worse afterward....